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She Just Can't Do It Right Now | letters from Dena

Writer's picture: Dena BDena B

Updated: 2 days ago


I'm fire. She's earth.


An Aries and a Taurus. I love her fiercely, but I've never actually fully understood her. To be honest -- she can probably say the same about me.


She and I — each other's strongest advocates — come into balance, navigating the things we share in common to give shape to the more significant issues we face in life.


Her children are noticing the cracks in her relationship. One flat out tells her that they can't do anything to help fix it.


Years of distance have come between spouses. She had a list today of the things that irritate her about him.


She feels her husband prefers one of her children, which negatively impacts the others. They all need help, but she can't afford it.


Everyone needs counseling. She's naming all the members of her family.


Everyone but her.


The matriarch.


I tell her what I'm going to say will anger her. That I love her.

And. I ask her…


“Is it that you can't do it right now or don't want to do it?


Are you in a self-imposed place of disempowerment?


I know you can afford to do it. You choose not to.”


Silence. I can feel the air being sucked out of the room she's in across the state…and I ask…


“Does that feel tight to you? hard to breathe?”


"Yes”, she replies.


I'm sorry. I ask her to promise me she’ll start by saving herself so that she can help be a stabilizing force for whatever needs may appear down the road.


"I promise", she says.


We then set up weekly calls for accountability. Movement. No more being stuck.



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